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As time passes by, I slowly realize that it is impossible for most of us to be ready for anything. This is the moment when my perfectionist mentality starts to fade and action begins to rise.
Once I was a kid, I really dreamed a lot. I wanted to be the richest man. I wanted to be like a genie, fulfilling everybody’s wishes. I wanted to be like the person with the most professional skills. Of course, this is good, since almost all great people I know start with an unrealistic idea, and most of the story follows after that. But unfortunately, everything just doesn’t seem right for me.
Things just happened when I graduated from secondary school. You know, at that stage, everybody is suddenly separated. Only when the tide goes out can we discover who has been swimming naked. Apparently, I am the one who wasn’t prepared before starting my adventure.
I started my journey after receiving my graduation certificate, without a second thought. During the journey, I made quite a number of friends. We created unique memories. Everything just seemed right. But here is the problem: what changed was my external environment, but not my internal environment. I was still forced to move due to external context. When you are pushed rather than driven, it is almost a destiny that sooner or later, you will collapse. Just after 240+ days, I collapsed and was forced to go back to where I started.
Enlightened by unknown elements, I did isolate myself and listen to my heart. What caused me to end up here? Months later, I concluded the following:
- Not driven to put in effort into anything
- Weak weak weak…. too weak!
- Wrong interpretation of the current scenario
The reasons for failure are multi-dimensional, but these three points constitute a heavy proportion of my failure. Admit it or not, I need to change. But here is the drama: due to the absence of self-driven force, I just indirectly resisted change. I have taken a good rest for this reason; it lasted around 9 months.
Time flies, and now it is October 2024. I am going to celebrate my 20th birthday and become a degree student of Computer Science, both within a month. Thanks to my overthinking skills, I immediately checked the days until I finish my undergraduate program and merely imagined whether I should proceed to postgraduate studies or go to work. That is just too damn fast.
Credit to my cyber friends here, Ruby Yao and Chailyn Cui. I accidentally saw their blog page and felt really fascinated. And here comes my very first instinct just after finishing my Foundation program: Why not try to create my own blog space? Here is how I utilized my over-planning skills: I researched the steps required to create a blog space and privately commented: this doesn’t seem too hard if I have fewer requirements for the webpage. However, I still suffered from procrastination. Days passed by, and I finally felt humiliated after watching a reel of a 7-year-old child working on Solidworks. Hence, just today, I picked up all the half-done work, and here it is! I have completed my very first project — HongYe’s Blogspace!
As time passes by, I slowly realize that it is impossible for most of us to be ready for anything. This is the moment when my perfectionist mentality starts to fade and action begins to rise.
- Author:路红叶先生/YZ
- URL:https://www.hongyeblogspace.uk//article/why-i-started
- Copyright:All articles in this blog, except for special statements, adopt BY-NC-SA agreement. Please indicate the source!
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